If you’ve birthed unassisted, you’ve likely heard it.
“You are brave”, “You are daring”, or ” You are bold!”
Quite flattering, sure, but brave isn’t exactly the word I would use.
The women who waltz into a facility – mid labor, putting their birth into the hands of a medical provider, expecting them to successfully allow a physiological birth to take place; they are brave.
Medical birthing providers are the cause of our incredibly high maternal and infant mortality rates – higher than any other 1st world country. (Mortality rate means the amount of women and infants who die during pregnancy/child birth- we have the highest rate.) Medical providers in general are the third leading cause of death in the US due to their iatrogenic care. What a huge risk to take!
Putting your birth outcome in their hands is incredibly brave if you ask me.
Better words to describe an unassisted birther are empowered, educated, unhindered, fearless, self sufficient, capable, or confident.
What is it about staying home and allowing a physiological function to take place is brave? Bare with me here for a second.
Am I brave for taking a poop? Quite a few things could go wrong when making bowl movements. Am I brave for staying home and avoiding doctors to monitor my bowl movement process? Of course not! How silly! They are both physiological bodily processes though! Different, sure, but very similar in the same token!
People are so conditioned to believe we need medical assistance to bring our offspring earth side. This is a scary understanding to have when the ‘assistance’ has proven to be failing women and infants and is an actual leading cause of death. Allowing birth to happen with out unnecessary interventions, in a peaceful environment, with full autonomy, unhindered connection to baby, ability to get in get in your birth zone to bring baby earth side, the way biology intends, is not brave. It is the biological norm – something society has zero grasp of.
Before you tell a woman that she is “brave” for birthing the way nature intends, think about how silly it sounds. Replace it with one of the words shared above! Have you ever been told you were “brave” for having a home birth or unassisted birth? Tell us, how hard did you eye roll them in reply?!