Why I will not Attend a Hospital Birth as a Birthkeeper

One of my largest biases when it comes to birth is location.
I am very biased on where a woman delivers her child – so much so, I refuse to attend births in a facility setting. I have no problem admitting this and speaking on why.

I’m sure many of the main stream birth providers will be angry about this as many are trained to accept and assist all walks of life, and that’s okay!

I personally choose to acknowledge and respect my biases in respect for the women I serve and for myself. Bias is something I previously spoke on if you are interested in learning more about it.

I (Desirae) am personally really not about hospital birth. I’ve had 2 myself and I am aware of what they have to offer. I know that once you get there, you put your birth into someone else’s hands, and with this, I do not agree.
This is not empowering.
This is not biological.
This is a disservice.

Why Do I Stay Away from Hospital Births?

You could have a perfect hospital birth that goes just the way you want! Sure, I’ve seen it! The issue with that is you won’t know for sure until delivery day. Your provider might respect you but then again, they might not. They might feel like an episiotomy is needed (when it is not), and that will be happening no matter what you say because they write it off as “medically necessary.” Say “NO” all you want, it doesn’t always stop them. I’ve seen this happen as well.

You can press charges, but good luck with that…

I’m not about secondary trauma either, I’ll pass. You literally couldn’t pay me to watch a woman endure the abuse that occurs during many hospital births. I will not stand next to a woman while a doctor reaches in to check her cervix when she is begging them to please not. I do not care to experience a woman being told “You must get the epidural or we will simply take you back for a cesarean”.

What a disruption to her birth energy! No thank you. That is NOT what I’m about to wake up for at 2 AM to go witness. I’d rather sleep. “Why is she there in the first place?”, is all that comes to mind.

When a law suit is drawn up over the abusive malpractice, I’d be dragged into it. Again, no thank you. I already know how those outcomes go.

I am not about trying to negotiate with a medically minded provider over their poor choices. It’s a waste of time trying to speak to someone with a “God complex” that feels they are most knowledgeable, I’ve done it. Their main goal (for most) is “keep my license” not, “follow mama’s birth plan”. Birth plans are nothing shy of a request during a hospital birth. Keeping licensure will always trump a mothers desires.

I do not attend births as a means of living. I do this on the side to assist women who feel empowered and trust in their body and baby. I only assist those who see birth for the spiritual and natural process that it is. I’m not about defending a birthing mother who does not trust her body enough to stay home. If she has fear, that means she has more research to do. Research is the answer. Not a hospital birth.

I always mention how insane it is that low risk women flock to hospitals to birth their young. Going to a place of emergency for a natural bodily function? Where’s the sense in that? Should I be showing up at a hospital so I can take a poop? I mean, I might get a hemorrhoid or get a tear in my anus. I should go there just to “be safe”, right?

I have no desire to support someone who doesn’t trust in their body’s ability. If you have fear, you need more knowledge, not more unnecessary assistance.

There are birth attendants and doulas that will attend those medically minded hospital births. There are many women who will attend hospital births and don’t mind watching the activity that occurs there.

I am not one.

I Love Home Birth

There is definitely a provider for everyone and I feel that is glorious! As for me, I support the small crowd of women who are empowered and see home birth as the only logical option.

Sometimes there are complications in the birth process, I get that, but let’s get back to the numbers… less than 5%. I feel hospital births happen out of fear. Fear from the birthing woman or her partner. It could also be because that is what the birthing mama was conditioned to believe was necessary!

Fear has no place in a soon-to-be mama’s heart. If she has fear, that is ok and normal by all means! She just needs more research. Not a hospital birth.

Hospitals have zero place in low risk births. If mama can’t trust herself at home, I can not assist her. & that’s ok! Ask someone else.

*I will also note that in the case of emergency, I would transfer with my clients. I will never put my desires above her emergency needs. I do know when to pull the plug and have zero problem doing so. I would go into that facility and defend her like a guard dog, as if my life depended on it. I’d literally push a medical doctor out of the way and run into the hall demanding a new one if mama and I did not agree with their practice. My passion runs deep. My past experiences would be set aside for her. In a true emergency, a hospital birth is the best bet. It can save lives, I will not deny. I’m simply saying that if a low risk mama doesn’t trust her body and baby enough, or realizing the safest place for a healthy birth is at home, I can not assist her; I am not the best fit.

-Desirae

Lotus Birth; A Spiritual and Sacred Ceremony

Ever think to leave your newborn baby attached to the placenta and carry both baby and placenta around until it severed on its own?
Don’t call it crazy until you look into it! There are many reasons why a mother or family would desire and opt to do this. There is name for this practice; it’s called a Lotus Birth!

What is a Lotus Birth?

A Lotus Birth, otherwise known as umbilical nonseverance, is leaving the umbilical cord uncut after birth. Not just delayed, like delayed cord clamping, but left completely intact! The mother would leave the baby and placenta attached until it separates naturally from the umbilicus (the belly button!). The separation occurs anywhere from 2-10 days (ishh). Some add herbs and such to the placenta as well!

Everywhere the baby would be carried, the placenta would be carried along as well!

Where did this practice come from?

The idea of Lotus Birth began around 1970. In 1974, Claire Lotus Day was carrying a baby. Ms. Day previously studied the work of primatologist Jane Goodall, whom observed chimpanzees. The primatologist noticed that after birth, the chimps would not bite and sever the umbilical cord. They would leave it intact and rest in the trees until it detached naturally. It seemed so natural and instinctual to Ms. Day!

While pregnant, she looked for and found a doctor that would support her choice to take her son home from the hospital with his placenta and cord still intact. She made it happen!

That is where the name came from!

Why Choose Lotus Birth?

1) Spiritual and Emotional Reasoning
This is more of a spiritual and emotional act. For many, Lotus Birthing is a sacred ceremony. The family likely values the transition between womb and mother. The family may also respect the connection the baby has with the placenta. Baby did just spend 9 months with it.

2) Calmer and More Peaceful Infant
Babies that stay connected to the placenta until it severs naturally are observed to be more calm and peaceful.

(I will say though, that most babies born at home will likely be calm and peaceful. Homebirth babes likely aren’t subjected to a vigorous and traumatic birth. They probably aren’t entering the world into a room of bright lights and chaos of multiple people rushing around like a baby born in a hospital would.)

3) Promotes Peace and Rest
Having baby attached to the placenta also encourages mom and baby to stay home and take it slow. This promotes a time of peace and rest. You certainly won’t see a mom carrying her baby and placenta around at the grocery store.

4) Promotes Recovery and Bonding
Lotus birth helps mom recover and promotes mother and infant bonding. Some families make this a whole family deal. The whole family stays home with the baby and does what they can around the house so that mom and baby have the first few days to adjust.

5) Baby is less likely to be passed around
It may also decreases the chances of baby being passed around to visitors. Baby… attached to an organ… with a cord that is gristle like… Yeahhhh, Uncle John likely won’t want to try and interfere with all of that. It is not healthy for a new baby to be passed around to everyone. It should be just mom and baby for days. Skin to skin. Naps on naps.

I am sure there are many other reasons, this is just what I have on the top of my head right now!

More info in the links below including How-To’s and placenta care while practicing a Lotus birth!

—–> Feel free to check out our other articles! <—–
https://motherhoodwithacrunch.wordpress.com

http://www.lotusbirth.net/
https://www.easybirth.org/index

How To Have A Gentle C-Section

When you picture a cesarean, what words come to mind first?

Cold. Quiet. Bright. Scary. Scrubs. Scalpel. Shaky. Drugged Up. Curtain. No Skin to Skin. Sore. Inactive. 

But wait! Ending up with a C-Section, whether by emergency or by choice, does not mean that you have to miss out on being an active participant in your birth!

What is a Gentle C-Section?

While a gentle cesarean is not going to do much to change the postpartum recovery, it is still a major surgery, it can reduce the trauma or disappointment you may experience, if a c-section was not in your expected birth plan. And even if it was, how neat is it to have a more active and informed surgery, right?!

A gentle cesarean is something that should absolutely be discussed with your provider prior to you going into labor, whether you are planning to deliver at home or planning a scheduled c-section, everyone needs to be on board and knowledgable about your intentions in the event of a cesarean happening! OB/GYNs that do not routinely do cesareans need to be informed on their role during the cesarean and what things will be different, which will not be much on their part honestly – just a little extra time and flexibility. If you have a doula, she can aide you in advocating for your gentle cesarean, as you will be numb, but if not make sure your partner or support person is fully informed on what exactly it is that you are aiming for.

What Makes a Gentle C-Section Different?

First things first, you will still be prepped like every cesarean mama would be; you will need to sanitize your body to prevent your opening from becoming infected, and everyone coming into the room will be scrubbed up from head to toe to keep germs to a minimum. You will be given a form of pain medication in your spine to numb you; your best bet is to ask for a spinal block instead of the epidural or general anesthesia. This will be a shorter lived pain medication (about two hours) that will get you well through the surgery, but not linger as long as the epidural and generally does not have as many side effects.

Insist on a small, low transverse scar that is to be double sutured. If this is a repeat c-section, make sure they remove built up scar tissue before suturing, so you are less likely to experience placenta accreta on your scar tissue in future pregnancies. This will increase your likelihood of a successful VBAC, if that is potentially a future desire of yours. Babies can squeeze out of a hole the size of a bagel, trust me, they do not need to cut you from hip to hip.

Leave the shawl down or ask for a transparent sheet to go in between you and the OB/GYN operating, so that you can see everything happening! Ask the OB/GYN or a nurse to talk you through the procedure and everything that is going on to help keep you fully engaged in your baby’s entrance.

Music may play during the birth to encourage a loving and soft environment. If possible, you can request that the temperature be warmed and the lights reduced just for a few minutes as baby emerges. Of course, when the OB/GYN is opening and stitching you back up, you will want them to have full visual. Have monitors turned silent and away from your face so you can be relaxed and at peace.

Allow baby’s head to be pulled to the top of the opening and turned towards you, to emerge slowly and gently. If possible, you or your partner can do this part, and still deliver your own baby! They can still do the breast crawl this way or just be pulled up to your chest for skin to skin. Delayed cord clamping should absolutely still be an option and you can almost always keep your placenta. They should allow the placenta a few moments to attempt to detach naturally, before pulling or manually removing, and it should be removed gently as to not cause any damage to your uterus.

Simply have them place the placenta in a bowl or container next to your bed for delayed cord clamping and keeping the placenta. It should not be allowed to go to pathology, except for a small sliver, if they absolutely must test.

Baby should remain skin to skin with you or your partner while you are stitched back up. After they stitch you, be sure to ask for them to swab your vagina for vaginal seeding, this provides baby with probiotics and healthy culture from your vagina that they would normally get passing through the birth canal. Baby should not be washed, especially with soap! Rub their vernix and any other fluids into their skin.

If baby must be separated from you for any reason, have someone else provide skin to skin, or at minimum stay with them, especially if you are declining vaccinations, or eye ointment.

Check out this video as an example of a gentle cesarean: